Old is Gold - atleast once in a while......

Two years ago, all the manual taps in my office got replaced with auto taps, the ones with sensors that can detect the motion of your hand underneath and turn on and off water. Today most of them fail to detect the hand motion and refuses to turn on water or once turned on refuses to turn off water or turn on the water for such a short duration that it is practically useless. Of course, auto taps are so very today, but did my company necessarily have to replace the old manual ones with these? The answer probably is no. In fact, they would be now incurring extra water taxes due to wastage.

Isn't this situation so very familiar to most of us? How many times after consummation of something (after a lot of struggle) have we bemoaned about how better off we were before?  We aspire for something new mainly for its novelty or coolness quotient or even just because our friends have it.(At least I am famous for aspiring for stuff  just because somebody else have them without really having any need for them). Most of the times these change do click for us but then there are times when we regret our decision also. Maybe a little bit of pondering and a reality check would make our lives better. Change is the only constant, but change should definitely not be to make the life miserable at least not those changes for which we have an option.

So here are a few things I would not like to change in my life even though I have newer options - just because they work perfectly fine for and I would be miserable with the change. 

                              - filter coffee for mochas and cappuccinos.

                               - my books for e-books.

                               - my morning newspaper for online newspaper.

                               - staying in India for settling abroad.

Indians and Cricket - We are symbiotic.

1. I am an Indian and I am born to love, at the very least like cricket.

2. I will have my lay-man's opinion on every bowler, every batsmen, every ball bowled, every run taken, every wicket taken, every technique adopted, every cricket rule that exists or does not exist and will dissect a cricket match to shreds, over a cup of coffee with my friends.

3. No matter how much I declare it as a silly game, if I see a nail-bitting cricket match while flipping channels, especially a live one, I will stop, watch and cheer for the team that wins, no matter which team it is.

4. #2 applies only if the Indian team is not playing. If Indian team is playing I will first declare them as typical to bring a match to this "close a finish" and then I will sit and chew on my nails praying fervently that they do win

5. I got goosebumps and my stomach was churning watching the "Lagaan cricket match", despite the knowledge that it is a movie and India is going to win ultimately.

6. I really believe that my prayers contribute significantly to Indian cricket team's winning chances and praying is the least I can do. If I am eccentric enough, I will offer prayers at temple/church/mosque/gurudwara to improve the odds of Indian team winning an important cricket match.

7. I will complain aloud about(euphemism) the Indian cricket team(every aspect of it) after we loose a match , pretend to not care about the win or lose. I will even say "the team does need such treatment meted out to it once in a while for their arrogance and over confidence". But inside I will be bitterly disappointed and dejected that the team lost the match and decide to pray more for the team for next match.

8. I would have at some point of time in my life, declared that I will not watch the important match India is playing because if I watch India will surely loose. I will ask my friends and family to watch it for me.

9. After declaring #8, I will manage to take a sneak-peak at the game at the exact moment when either the Indian team looses a wicket or drops a wicket. I will then shudder my shoulders in exasperation and exclaim to the others "See .. this is what I told you".

10. I will want Sachin Tendulkar to hit a century every single time he comes out to bat, and if he indeed hits a century, I will want a 150 or a double century.

11. Every time I read an article about Sachin or watch a video clipping of his achievements, I get goosebumps.

12. I will defend Sachin vehemently if anybody even dares to say that Sachin is not a match winner and if Sachin scores big in a match, India will loose the game.

13. I will aspire to watch every single cricket match that India is playing from a stadium.

14. I will prepare myself for an important cricket match that India is playing for days together. I will declare that I will not study or do my homework that day,pester mom to make some snacks,

 postpone my meetings and other commitments, get home early from work and get all the food ready. I will hate to be disturbed when the Indian team is playing well.

14. I am an Indian girl and I will have crush on at least one cricketer during my teenage. I will have his posters on my bedroom walls, read up every bit of information on him and chant his name day in and day out and drive the others around me crazy.

15. I am an Indian parent and my secret ambition will be to make my son part of Indian cricket team. Cricket bat is the first toy I will buy for him.

Letter to the lady at the cinema

Dear lady-in-the-back-seat-at-the-cinema,

With reference to your abysmally infantile behavior at the theater last night, this is to inform you that it is totally abominable to refuse to settle down during the entire playtime of a movie and that cinemas in Bangalore are not a private but a social gathering. Kindly note that cinemas are definitely not the places to be at your garrulous best and to catch up with your friends. Also note that foot-tapping the seat ahead of you during the movie does not give a 3-D effect to the person in the seat and is very very irritating. Further let us inform you that rustle of  plastic wraps is definitely not euphonious and becomes head-splitting in a matter of minutes, let alone two hours. Considering all this and the fact that you looked like you are in your late twenties, we have come to the conclusion that it is way too late for you to learn the home rules governing watching a movie in the theater. Hence we strongly recommend you to not saunter down to a theater next time you have the urge to catch a movie, but stay at home at enjoy the same on your dvd player.

Regards

Certain patrons who like to enjoy their movie-in-theaters experience 

"Tamasoma jyothir gamaya"

Today afternoon as I stepped out my office for my daily dose of caffeine, I was suddenly struck by the brilliance of sunshine. It was a stark contrast from the air conditioned, cold, artificially lighted office space of mine. I had been feeling dreary all day today and suddenly I felt my spirits rising.

As a kid I always used to be in awe of the night and darkness. One of my earliest memories associated with darkness is one of my dad’s friends offering me a “five star” for staying in a pitch dark room, alone, during a power cut. I was barely five years old then but still braved the challenge and won the “five star”. From then on I always associated myself as a night person. I always used to tell my friends that I enjoy doing things at nights better than day. I remember, when I first read that in parts of Scandinavian countries, where half the year is spent in darkness. suicide rates are higher, I thought how very strange people there should be to not to enjoy the 6 month long nights. As I grew up, there was also no concern of getting tanned during the night!!! In all the silly online quizzes for finding the soul mate, deciding which season I belong to etc I always pick night over day as the choice. For me nights are mysterious, romantic, charming with lots of promises.

But today as I stepped out into the warm, bright noon, I felt there could not be anything more pleasant than sun shine. It brings with it a strange and remarkable sense of warmth, cheer, brightness, hope and general bonhomie. I may still not like sweating it out in the sun and getting myself tanned but then next time when I am figuring out what my personality is , I for sure know the answer to – Choose one of the two
                   a. Day
                   b. Night

Man's strive

He strives for position

He strives for power

He strives for perfection

Kindness and humanity are lost forever

He strives for gold

He strives for fame

He strives for glory untold

Happiness and love is the price of this game

Agressive Arrogant Education??

It is a busy railway station hot, musty and crowded.. She sighs and falls into the queue, a little impatient that there is no separate lane for platform tickets and normal tickets. Suddenly somebody bumps into her startling her out of her thoughts. She reacts, ready to minimum treat the offender with a cold stare and is surprised to hear him respond "Sorry".. She looks up and is further surprised to see a six footer, with pan stained lips and khaki dress typical of any riksha driver in India. She simply shruggs it off and both of them fall into the queue again. A few minutes later as she approaches the counter she finds a young man dressed like any other young executive of today slowly trying to edge her off the queue. Determned not to let him get ahead of her in the queue she inches forward throwing him an occasional glance. As she reaches the booth the young man pushes her off the queue and before she could react manages to purchase his tickets and vanish off, without even turning to glance at her. Furious that she let this happen she proceeds to purchase her tickets.
As she walks towards the platform, she suddenly realises that the riksha driver who was courteous and social would most probably  not have even finished his tenth standard where as the rude young man sure is either an engineering graduate or a M.B.A executive. She thinks is this what education in India is all about? You are taught to be so competitive and aggresive that you forget basic coursey and civic sense which forms the core of  India tradition? True that Indian students are considered to be among the best in the world , but are they also considered to be the the most cold , selfish and arrogant of the lot ? She thinks....

P.S-> This blog has been in pipeline for three months now !! Finally i managed to get it out :-)

The Great Performance Evaluation

For the past two hours you have been working on a bunch of self rating queries. You fail to comprehend the ones like " Rate yourself on your accountability"? Eh ? Nor can you understand how anybody can expect you to give yourself a rating of poor. So you unabashedly give yourself a rating of  good or excellent in nost of the categories. Still, despite your best efforts , you are forced to choose a poor for categories like "Rate your self based on th number of patents you have published". Finally you are satisfied .. you had to give youself a poor only for a couple.

After the two hours battle, you walk into the conference room, where your manager awaits you.. you smug and highly confident of your performance.Your manager smiles at you and says " So how do you think the past quarter/half year/year went by ? " You manage to mumble something like "It went great".

Manager - "You have been doing a great job. You have taken the opportunity given to you and delivered time and again in an excellent fasion. There is nothing much for you to worry. You have a very promising future. You are an asset to the team and the team members look upto you . Just continue like this."

You start swelling up with pride. Your eyes are shining. You start to feel you are the best s/w engineer in the planet.

By this time your manager has started going through your ratings and you hear occasional hmmm's and mmm's from him. Then
Manager - "You see this this and this cannot be rated as excellent. Neither can these be rated as good".

You wait.. You almost expect him to say "you cannot rate these as poor also". After a minute or so you realise that it  is not going to happen and he is waiting for you to react.

You  - " I have done this this this .... blah blah.. "

You speak non stop praising yourself for almost 5 minutes and you finally conclude with " I do assuredly deserve these ratings."

Manager - "Agreed.. But you still lack in responding to email within 2 minutes of recieving them. Your average is like 5 minutes. Also you lack in catering to 10 different things at a time . Plus you were not collaborative enough with team members who are 10000 miles away"

You have nothing to respond to this but ok, but you do end thinking how you can make youself omnipresent. So after 10 minutes of start of  the meeting you have almost all your excellent ratings pulled down to good, your "goods" pulled down to "satisfactory' and you "satisfactories" pulled down to "poor".You realise that the original "poors" could have been excellent as well. Wouldn't have made an iota of difference.

Next,

Manager - "Tell me, what do you think about the team. What do you think we have to improve as a team?"

You - "The cross team collaboration and syncronization is very poor." Some more of such stuff. " Also our team members in US do not  have a clue as to what we do here despite repeated trainings."

Manager -  "That is a good point. I  take it upon myself to conduct 10 more meetings a week for cross team syncronization. Also I give you an action item to prepare ppts so that you can train your colleagues abroad on our work here."

You sigh. You wish you had not opend your mouth at all.

Manager - "Anything more? "

You decide to try once more.

You - "The cross team interractions are so bad that sometimes two people end up doing the same thing. It is a total waste of effort. You feel dejected when this happens."

Manager - "You should not feel dejected. You should be more mature. Also you need to be more aggressive so that you get your code out first before the other person. Any other queries ?"

You - "Will I get my promotion this year? Also will the hikes be good?"

Manager - "That is not in my hands. You continue doing your job without any expectations. Also as I said you need to more aggressive.You should also try to prioritize and focus on you job. Not get into everything at once."

You start to feel as if you are listening to a discourse from Bhagvath Gita. Plus hadnt this guy just now told you , you should try to do 10 different things at a time ? You are now confused.

Manager - "So any feedbacks for me?"

You can think of numerous "interesting" stuff to tell him. But

You  - "No , nothing. You are perfect."

Manager - "Ok. So lets schedule one more meeting to close on this."

You - "I would be delighted to schedule one more meeting of this sort."

And with that both of you walk out of the conference room.

This my friends is what they call PERFORMANCE EVALUATION. Bah!! Gah!! Pah!!!

Picture - Courtsey dilbert.com from where I subscribe to daily comic strips.
Gah - Courtsey the numerous Enid Blyton novels I used to read as a kid.
Pah - Courtsey Calvin and Hobbes cartoon strips which I simply adore.

PS -> No, I did not have my performance evaluation last week.